09-09-2019, 08:07 PM
Hi
Im commenting as a beginner too so I am learning just as much from reading other peoples replies to this poem.
I agree that I wanted the story to expand slightly. It was candid and clear in its intention. It resonated with me on an emotional basis because of the clear imagery (frost encased, and also the general image of being sat in a car trapped in your thoughts) which meant I was ready to make more emotional investment in the story but I felt it could have been explained more to really get me to hook into it. The last stanza was powerful to me and again would be even more powerful if there was a bit more set up behind it. I really enjoy the story telling in the poem. Because of how much it resonated with me even in the first stanza, there was a lot more room to tell me about the character or the story behind it. Having read your replies and comments I now understand the backstory more and it makes more sense and gives more of an impact to the last few lines. Im wary of trying to give any technical advice because im probably more of a beginner than you but I found it helpful to read others feedback to you. Thank you.
Im commenting as a beginner too so I am learning just as much from reading other peoples replies to this poem.
I agree that I wanted the story to expand slightly. It was candid and clear in its intention. It resonated with me on an emotional basis because of the clear imagery (frost encased, and also the general image of being sat in a car trapped in your thoughts) which meant I was ready to make more emotional investment in the story but I felt it could have been explained more to really get me to hook into it. The last stanza was powerful to me and again would be even more powerful if there was a bit more set up behind it. I really enjoy the story telling in the poem. Because of how much it resonated with me even in the first stanza, there was a lot more room to tell me about the character or the story behind it. Having read your replies and comments I now understand the backstory more and it makes more sense and gives more of an impact to the last few lines. Im wary of trying to give any technical advice because im probably more of a beginner than you but I found it helpful to read others feedback to you. Thank you.