Send Me

[alonso ramoran]

churinga,

Comments below.

To die with the heart intact,
to live as if all is possible. I would cut this line and the one above, then find a way to imbue its meaning in the image of the following two lines. 
Lights flash in all colours 'possible' This would be a better start to your poem for its imagery. Not sure why "possible" is in quotes. "All colors possible" seems vague in spite of its inclusiveness. Maybe it's just that that makes this description a little flat. Something like "Lights flash in rainbows" I think would work better.
zigzagging or starred out like fireworks. Maybe omit "zigzagging" and just have "starred out like fireworks"

Send me September.
Send me oodles of noodles. This phrase adds a quirkiness to the poem that feels out of place. It's also a cliche
Send me seeking some sort of redemption, Like this line and the two below. It makes me feel as if the subject is yearning to redo things in the past. If so, then maybe a more concrete image of the subject rather than "seeking some sort of redemption" can be used to convey this regret.
locked in a memory stick 
or with a nude in a garden.

To give something back, small tokens, 
bottle tops shaped like the past. Nice way to encapsulate the past in something like bottle caps.
Those bright hallways, Bright with what?
rock and roll careening 
wall to wall, room to room.

What was kissing then 
but an endless pleasure. 
I know it's corny but it's true. I think this line can be omitted.

Regards,
Alex