08-18-2019, 06:43 AM
I like the succession of images in this poem, but instead of having them in random order, it might work bette to arrange them according to their length of time, starting with the monsoons and ending with the same choking river’s mouth or stream cutting stone
Also, the sleight / wright rhyme is tempting, but while cicadas have a sort of genetic memory (or so it can be argued poetically), the same is not true for the other, truly mechanical non living processes described in the poem
Also, the sleight / wright rhyme is tempting, but while cicadas have a sort of genetic memory (or so it can be argued poetically), the same is not true for the other, truly mechanical non living processes described in the poem