Empty Kelly

[Seraphim]

Empty Kelly

Metal syndicated shell,
slits to see the horror, I'm assuming a military tank. An image of the horror might clarify the point
Prufrock’s pitied prudent hell - over alliterated, by my taste
hid behind the barrier,  someone's personal hell is hiding behind a barrier? If this is about war, and I'm assuming so by the word 'horror', I'd think hell would be on the other side of the barrier..
cicadas’ Venitian carnival
where masks constrict like vines, I get the cicadas' musical noise relating to Carnival, as well as masks, but don't get how the masks relate to the cicadas, nor why masks constrict like vines. or how that relates to an analogy of war.
processions forward to a funeral processions of what - cicadas?
hidden by concrete time. I can see a connection to a concrete barrier, as used in early 20th century wars, but the term 'concrete time' on the literal level doesn't make sense.

With an imaginative stretch, and after numerous reads, I might see this as something related to long term mental issues caused by war, but if that's the intent it needs a lot more work to clarify.

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Not many would know this is about Ned Kelly.
'Venetian' unless you are punning on the Latin 'venit'. If you are, it is very obscure.
'concrete' is too modern for Kelly's era. The word not the substance.
I would not put hell in bold, since it is a formal poem.
Clever slant rhymes and use of language.

cheers

Ross

Ned Kelly? I was wondering about General John F Kelly, USMC, who led the Multi-Nation Task Force in Iraq and became White House Chief of Staff. I had to look up Ned Kelly, and only did that because of Ross's reference. Kelly is a common last name

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One can't assume one's audience is composed of mind readers - the author needs to give them enough reference to bring them on the same page {no pun intended}