First Edit: Death is Unmoved/The Cost of Tranquility

[Knot]

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Hi Richard.


There a nice idea here, but the last line just unbalances everything.
And 'a coffin paid for years ago' just isn't doing enough (nor too,
the title). I'd suggest splitting into three three-line verses.

Hands folded, calmest they've ever been.
The widow waits, eyes ruined
long before his funeral.

A listless priest sprinkles dirt
dry as cheeks, as eulogising tongues,
a dull, hollow sound.

That night, dark as any other, drunken
kisses damp a black dress, in the backseat
she exclaims a prayer, hands clenched.



Best, Knot.




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