First Edit: Death is Unmoved/The Cost of Tranquility

[Richard]

The Cost of Tranquility

Hands folded, calmest they've ever been,
her eyes stopped looking long
before the funeral,
mispronounced name still fits the eulogy.

He paid for their coffins years ago
with forgotten birthdays, candles unlit.

Priest listlessly sprinkles dirt, another
purchase, budgeting for their deaths
always made him tired, while she
slept in most mornings without ever
saying goodbye.

Original:

Death Is Unmoved

Hands folded, calmest they've ever been.
That dead man's wife waits,
her eyes ruined long before the funeral.
Priest listlessly sprinkles dirt
on a coffin paid for years ago.
That night, dark as any other,
drunk kisses adorn a black dress,
her repeated, “oh god,” in the backseat,
the truest prayer between two people.

I've been working on this one for weeks now. This is probably my third edit so far. It still doesn't seem right, so feel free to rip this one apart.