Sometimes

[Seraphim]

Sometimes the world is just shapes,  I think the first line needs to be stronger/smoother - it stumbles a bit which is especially distracting when the reader is just trying to get into the poem.
dark and light 
or colours on a palette knife.
Sometimes the world is a screen, different types of screen; wasn’t obvious until several lines down. Another small distraction from the initial read. Perhaps ‘Sometimes the world’s a video screen’ -  
a myriad of players 
speaking in foreign languages 
but that's not the problem.
There's smiles. are not is.  I figure you’re doing it for voice, but it grates lol
And eyes are either golden with light
or cold as the blue.
There's music in the hubbub of a bar
or by a bus stop seat. I know you’re alliterating, but it feels awkward here, to me.  Near...
TV shows rarely get it right.
The way we think between sentences,
how the mind is slow. Then fast. [size][font] These lines don’t add meaning to me - kind of the opposite[/font][/size]

Sometimes there's a fragrance
you walk past in the night.
Sometimes you wake and remember
a dream that's recurring. recurring dream
Now - it fits like a crossword:
the faces, the building, 
the message that's given.

just a few thoughts....