07-06-2019, 04:02 PM
I've fallen back to my over-referential tendencies again, I agree. Though I'm not at the moment of a mind to revise this piece. Anyways, some responses:
--"Using God in a poem...", etc. Not necessarily. The Bible is so ingrained in English literature that, Christian or not, in a lot of ways one is expected to understand such references. Idioms alone: "fly in the ointment", "prodigal son", etc. It's not problematic in and of itself, especially when a poem such as this outright declares itself to be addressing Christian themes.
--The sinuous rhythm is somewhat intentional: for the first stanza, I opened myself up to occasionally working with just the accents, while the second stanza is meant to "fall into" IP. Of course, I wish I had applied those to something less confused and more original...
--...I especially agree with Seraph's point on how I fail to convey the significance of "...Mills".
Thanks for the feedback, you two. <3
--"Using God in a poem...", etc. Not necessarily. The Bible is so ingrained in English literature that, Christian or not, in a lot of ways one is expected to understand such references. Idioms alone: "fly in the ointment", "prodigal son", etc. It's not problematic in and of itself, especially when a poem such as this outright declares itself to be addressing Christian themes.
--The sinuous rhythm is somewhat intentional: for the first stanza, I opened myself up to occasionally working with just the accents, while the second stanza is meant to "fall into" IP. Of course, I wish I had applied those to something less confused and more original...
--...I especially agree with Seraph's point on how I fail to convey the significance of "...Mills".
Thanks for the feedback, you two. <3