cheap love song

[churinga]

I have reservations about this. It is very preachy.
Using 'God' in a poem is fraught with problems. Ditto Christ.
It assumes the reader is a christian rather than simply a reader.

The opening is clumsy. You do not make canvas out of wool.
The poem has it's moments but also loses rhythm in places.
Try saying what you want to say without any biblical references
(which make the poem second-hand, as does using Blake).
Use your own words and thoughts and images.
That's just a suggestion of course, it's up to you

cheers

Ross