The decision(after feedback)

[Richard]

Hey Nancy,
I think this is going in the right direction. However, I find that your cocoon metaphor is a bit mixed up now. I'll go into detail below:

Thank you for all of your input so far and thanks in advance for any more! I have tried to learn a bit more and had another go. 

[new version]
I was in love
years before I kissed you,
Because the creature in me, 
saw the creature in you. -This stanza makes it sound like their own skins are the cocoons, and I think this is a fascinating idea worth exploring in more detail.

But one day I hit your wall,-I find that the wall imagery a bit confusing because I'm not sure it it's literal or metaphorical.
that filled those gaps in time.
Your 'other woman'
Your 'other love'
That rotten ghost you call a friend.

With your feet firmly planted,
All you could do was say, 'I'm sorry',
as the tears ran down our cheeks.

I’m sorry, you think that wall is your cocoon, -Their skins as cocoons is a stronger idea than the wall as a cocoon. Again, my confusion from above weakens this image for me. 
I'm sorry you think you need it. 

All I can do is love you from the other side and wait until you realise, 
those colour dusted wings are just trapped. 

You have always been the butterfly.


[old version]
When i first saw you i thought you were beautiful. When i first kissed you, i knew your skin was made from something magic.
 But there's a wall between us. The other woman, the black hole, that rotten person you call a friend.
 With your feet firmly planted on the other side, all you could do was say 'I'm sorry',as the tears ran down our cheeks. 
I'm sorry, you think that wall is your cocoon, I'm sorry you think you need it.
 All I can do is love you from afar and wait until you see, those coloured wings are trapped.
 You have always been the butterfly.

Maybe think of rewriting the first stanza to something like:

Because the creature in me
saw the creature in you,
we kissed.

Then you can start building on how that connection was all a lie and lead to only one of them emerging from their cocoon. I look forward to seeing where you take this from here.

Thanks for the read,
Richard