On Safdar Hashmi Marg

[Knot]

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Hi Radetof.
Not much to add to Seraphim, except I'm not convinced by
the repetition of 'wet' and I would prefer a different title,
the current one replacing the, rather bland, 'the street'.

So, purely as food for thought ...


Evening fog chokes naked bulbs
lining Safdar Hashmi Marg

outside Himachal Bhawan
shuttered tight. A bus dark

beside a figure thin coiled around
a statue [of ? doesn't need to be specific, 'of some ancient ...' but a little detail/colour would help.]

Wet holes where eyes should be,
a bony noose constricts

wet urgent kisses almost drowned
by passing traffic.

A voyeur I wait for the show
to end.


Best, Knot.

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