Pradeshi Police

[billy]

loved it . it captures life in an indian town the way i'd imagine it to be. though i wasn't sure with some of the names, i was able to work them out within the context of the piece. for it it verged on prose but not completely. i enjoyed the story a lot.

Edit #1
Edit #1

Insensate, the daroga
railed at the autowallah.
Mammoth blows
his lathi squealing
(had seen much practice)
landing on the poor man's back
“How dare you talk back?
You motherfucker!” excellent start, though i don't think the opening line does enough to entice the reader to continue, however continuing was well worth it and the rest of the stanza drew me in.

I watched on, impotent,
followed them to the police station.

The false ember I felt in my chest faded good image of fear
when the drunk shitheel threatened me
“Fuck you, you fancy dandy!
Getting off to get fucking food packed, would a period or em dash work better here?
piece of shit.”

I could barely open my mouth
while trying to complain about his behavior
and could not bring myself say his name.
The inspector at the counter told me to fuck off.

Outside, a few policemen surrounded a man
crying, laughing, demanding to be let off
"Harmless drunk fucker."
A few punches later, his voice died down.

The daroga claimed the auto was stolen.
"It's a friend's auto, sir, let me just call him,"
said the autowallah, blows landing on his face
"He has all the papers-"
"I'll strip the hide off your back!"

The autowallah told me to leave;
it was okay
his friends were on their way.
I wished a good night to the daroga and his brats
and gave him the finger when he turned away.
I couldn't sleep that night.

A few days later, I met the autowallah
he looked like shit but seemed triumphant.
I asked him about how he got out.
“The fucker knew who my friends were
and still hit me. Took him to court yesterday,
the fucker apologized. Got to slap him around for a bit after.”
He laughed. a solid ending and a fine outcome


Original:
Foaming at the mouth, the daroga
railed at the autowallah
no-holds-barred.
A thrashing;
lashing out with all his strength
his lathi flicking through the air expertly
has seen much practice
landing on the poor man’s back
“How dare you talk back?
You motherfucker!”
 
I watched on, impotent,
while an innocent man got the shit beaten out of him
because I asked him to park next to a drunk policeman
while I got some food packed for myself.
His crime - complaining about the ticket a little too loudly.
 
The false warmth I felt in my chest
deserted me when at the police station
the drunk shitheel threatened me
“Fuck you, you fancy dandy!
Getting off to get fucking food packed,
piece of shit.”
I could barely open my mouth
and could not bring myself say his name
while trying to complain about his behavior.
The policemen at the counter asked me to fuck off.
 
Outside, a drunken man taken off the streets threatened to kill himself
while twenty policemen and the bastard daroga surrounded him and laughed
“Harmless drunk fucker!”
A friend tried to calm the drunk man down
So he wouldn’t get his face caved in.
 
The autowallah was crying in a corner;
the bastard had impounded his auto
and told him to get ready for a night of brutal beatings.
He asked me to leave and told me his friends were on the way.
I wished a good night to the daroga and his brats,
and gave him the finger because he deserved it.
I couldn't sleep that night.
 
Seven days later, I met the autowallah,
He looked like shit but seemed triumphant.
When asked about how he got out,
He said, “The fucker knew who my friends were
and still hit me. Took him to court yesterday,
the fucker apologized. Got to slap him around for a bit after.”
He laughed.
 
I wish I never got on the auto that night.