An Image of Gray

[Tiger the Lion]

An Image of Gray
- after Oscar Wilde don't think you need this


Perhaps Dorian had the right of it "perhaps" sounds too posh as a first word to me. You use it twice, so I think "maybe" would help for conversational tone, in at least one instance- without changing meter
- beauty is the only art worth seeking.
But could we peer behind his lovely eyes there's a feel of cliche (maybe only perceived) here. "peer" and "lovely" are flat and don't help
- or, through a silvered looking-glass, our own - "looking-glass" might pull readers out of DG and into Alice - maybe intentional? Maybe a sub for "through" would do the job?
there we’d view the true effects of time: this line could be better, "true" is a sucky word if it's not doing at least double duty...and paired with "view" the internal rhyme is stale
a touch of cunning about the soul’s expression,
perhaps a twist of cruelty edging its aging lips, someone once told me keep my gerunds few and far between
or, instead, just a diamond slab slab is exactly the right word IMO. Turns the romance of a diamond on its head.
- chiseled and yellow, impenetrable and flawed. Wonderful last line. I feel like you built the poem around it. And so you should. Strong piece with a few tweaks that should disrupt the heart of it.

There's a nice balance of from and free verse in this piece. I want it to be just a hair more liberal - for the sake of tone and freshness - if that makes any sense. Nice work,
Paul