Beyond Recall
#9
'soak of perspiration' is too graphic. I like the original very much. I don't think it needs improving. Crits are coming from the perspective of perfection. You can criticise any work, it doesn't mean the work has to be rewritten. A poem like this, call it what you will, is an intricate composition, change a single word and the whole poem loses it's balance.
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Messages In This Thread
Beyond Recall - by Seraphim - 06-22-2019, 04:12 AM
RE: Beyond Recall - by churinga - 06-22-2019, 07:47 AM
RE: Beyond Recall - by Seraphim - 06-22-2019, 09:09 AM
RE: Beyond Recall - by churinga - 06-22-2019, 03:50 PM
RE: Beyond Recall - by Knot - 06-23-2019, 12:09 AM
RE: Beyond Recall - by Seraphim - 06-23-2019, 02:41 AM
RE: Beyond Recall - by churinga - 06-23-2019, 05:31 AM
RE: Beyond Recall - by Seraphim - 06-23-2019, 06:10 AM
RE: Beyond Recall - by churinga - 06-23-2019, 07:34 AM
RE: Beyond Recall - by Seraphim - 06-23-2019, 08:00 AM
RE: Beyond Recall - by churinga - 06-23-2019, 09:54 AM
RE: Beyond Recall - by Seraphim - 06-23-2019, 11:33 AM
RE: Beyond Recall - by churinga - 06-23-2019, 02:32 PM
RE: Beyond Recall - by Seraphim - 06-24-2019, 04:29 AM



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