06-22-2019, 07:47 AM
in which some bygone lover would recline,
her auburn hair - or was it blonde? - a cloak
Suggest:
in which some bygone lover would recline.
Her auburn hair ....
Otherwise it can be read that her auburn hair is reclining.
It is a pity the last lines repeat the last lines of V1, a sonnet works best if the last lines are in a slightly different meter and act as a volte.
It's an accomplished poem. A pleasure to read.
her auburn hair - or was it blonde? - a cloak
Suggest:
in which some bygone lover would recline.
Her auburn hair ....
Otherwise it can be read that her auburn hair is reclining.
It is a pity the last lines repeat the last lines of V1, a sonnet works best if the last lines are in a slightly different meter and act as a volte.
It's an accomplished poem. A pleasure to read.