05-18-2019, 02:27 PM
After the first four lines, everything else just reads like an internal monologue/soliloquy. Those first two lines set up a short and simple scene, but everything beyond is pretty rhetorical, not poetic.
Try to turn some of the little strophes into miniature scenes that illustrate the core ideas.
Try to turn some of the little strophes into miniature scenes that illustrate the core ideas.
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona