Deluded Pride

[sudaisasif]

I like the parallel at the beginning, I want to do a line by line to explain all my reasonings, but basically it reminds me of different translations of the Divine comedy, some focus on the tone of the message to choose words for translation and others focus on the sound of the words.  Longfellow was praised but in my opinion unreadable.


Ah yes but had to make it like that to add immense imagery.  I think then you could make this section longer with clearer connections between the lines

I want to believe you know about fame from experience, maybe your own deluded pride being awakened at last.  Actually I have these arrogant thoughts which I do not act on or believe but just wrote this as a refutation to them. 

I  myself have alter egos suffering from delusions of grandeur, best of luck!

Thanks for posting!

Thank you, I'll work on the critique you gave!