Painless Wind

[billy]

hi U.B. i looked at the title before opening the poem and thought, ay, ay, it's a fart poem. i'm slightly disappointed. i'd go for the least is best approach and advise snipping a few words away. i'd suggest swapping the two opening lines round, the first one as is feels weak. i'd also suggest a couple more images or similes. i'd also suggest separating each idea of what death could be with a linespace.

I’ve wondered what it’s like
to die slowly - drowning.
When does dying
become death?
On the last breath
when light fades,
or as the neurons
explode like fireworks
flashing each memory?

I’ve wondered what it’s like
to die quickly - like Jesse.
His brain
blown away by buckshot.
Did it carry off his spirit
on a painless wind, or did he linger
until the hope of revival passed away
as the final twitch froze in place?