04-11-2019, 03:41 PM
hi peter, got to this one late, sorry.
a nihilistic/anti nihilistic poem; for me you need to lose any word that doesn't add anything, [any useless word or line or paragraph]
try and use some imagery/simile that evokes feelings of nihilism. destroy a few things. for the thing is that for me the poem is about a nihilist not wishing to be nihilistic. it sets up a few paradoxical ideas you could delve into in a much deeper way. keep the bare bones and add more bare bones. it's a good concept.
a nihilistic/anti nihilistic poem; for me you need to lose any word that doesn't add anything, [any useless word or line or paragraph]
try and use some imagery/simile that evokes feelings of nihilism. destroy a few things. for the thing is that for me the poem is about a nihilist not wishing to be nihilistic. it sets up a few paradoxical ideas you could delve into in a much deeper way. keep the bare bones and add more bare bones. it's a good concept.
(04-06-2019, 11:54 AM)P3t3rW1ll14m Wrote: Stay Useless
I'm so used to being useless. is there a need for [so]?
The ninihilist's bliss. nihilist
It's tiring trying
to be anything more than this.
I was doing just fine wasting all of my time
until I misplaced my will to live.
Never far enough away to worry,
just far enough to try a bit harder. wordy so far
That's why I've buried deep into the heartstrings [i'm] or [burrowed] would be a suggestion here.
of my friends.
Entwined myself like a cocoon
into someone new.
Someone they couldn't live without
like a failsafe, so I can feel safe. a suggestion would be to add [for them] after [failsafe] to make it work a little better.
When I break free and fail to fly
and fall into the hands
that I have helped raise up to catch me.
Still during the fall, I'll stall.
Regress to the nothingness
that I do best and find the floor.
Where I can be nothing more than useless.
