Harbour Height 1st edit

[billy]

high carl, welcome to the site. some thoughts on the poem. first off, after reading the first line, i'm left wondering what was going on through the other window, a suggestion would be to open with a couple of couplets about that. i really like the originality of the poem and that it's done in snippets.as though each couplet is a picture frame. that said i think you could use a little more show through imagery/simile than telling us about it as it unfolds. like the alliteration and the enjambment in places. i do think you could cut a few words and strengthen the piece by doing so. all in all an enjoyable read.


Harbour Height

Through another window, the maritime
marina is decked out in miniature good alliteration though it feels like you have 1 m to many is lines as short as you have here. good enjambment

where people hurry across the swing is [where] needed? and could you use another word instead of hurry
bridge in ones or twos before amber

warning-lights flash in the half-dark.
I can’t make out faces this high a good image would help this line no end. i do like how you tell us what kind of building you're looking from

just the purpose in their walk
passing blurred berths of tugboats two lots of good alliteration this couplet and this 2nd line works as an image.

that look like interlocking plastic
building-blocks, as if wind-beaten another good image though i wonder if [as if wind-beaten] could be better re-worded.

walkways hereabout don’t lack railings.
Except one guy, who has stopped is [except] needed as it doesn't read correctly as is. both lines don't read as connectable

or merely paused, and shakes my hand i want this line to work because i like the idea of the handshake over a long distance. a suggestion would be [to shake...]