03-27-2019, 06:05 AM
Thanks for the look billy. I know it can take a while, just didn't want this to fall completely off the radar without getting some help on this version. You're seeing a lot of what I intended, especially as far as the gravestone and some echoes of Plath. I've felt that S1 and S3 need the most attention -- they seem to move through too many disjointed images, and I haven't gotten around that yet. S1 is probably going to lose the mention of prophets. As far as the 'curtain-closing' line being hard to comprehend, I completely agree. I think the mention of a curtain pulls too far from the main idea, so I'll work on grounding that back to the gravestone.
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona