In The Woods

[Knot]

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Hi billy,
the tone seems a little inconsistent (L8-10,
L13-14 compared to the rest), but S1 is
excellent.


S1
Maybe 'thorn' for 'thorns' ? Do you need
'in the canopy'? The meaning's there with
'saplings' and 'space'.
(Could you change 'strong' to 'rich', in contrast
to 'miserly' ?)

S2.
If you could stand it I'd say start with this
as 'Sunlight...' makes an excellent beginning.
- Having problems getting beyond the 'golden
shower' aspect though.

S3.
Comma after 'Legs' (though do legs lead?
Unless they are someone elses?)
Agree with busker, elipsis after 'place'


Best, Knot


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