03-12-2019, 08:57 PM
I don't feel any guilt or shame in lusting after women. But falling in love is the worst thing I could do to somebody. I nightmare over it. Hell is a proven fact when I realize I'm in love again. I was surprised just now trying to count how many women have loved me, I thought two, but then I kept remembering more and more. I was surprised by that, but not by how they all suffered from obsessive mania. For me, love is an illness, and I can't carry myself beyond that distinction, whatever my twisted heart tells me.