Friday poem

[dukealien]

Shadow, you bad boy
You’re taking my golden away See below concerning punctuation and capitalization
He couldn’t stay
didn’t say why
But he’ll make me go green in the spring I feel like there should be another "-ing" rhyme down below to catch this.

So jealous of sky
Who gets to carry you
marry you
Woo you, sweet golden, with blue.  I read this, or hum it, as a lyric, and tend to phrase it with a comma after "Woo" and/or none after "golden."  Your tune may differ, however.

I stretched out to catch the last rays of today
Then you sailed away
Heading west without me
You have places to be
And I’m left like the loneliest tree  This feels like a second-to-last rather than last line (hence no period?) - seems to call for a final short line, something like "without you" or "in shadow."  (See below concerning "like")

Justified by the title but also the whole shape and theme, I read this as a torch song (not to alarm our leafy friends, of course).  Short, intense, slightly breathless phrases and stretched-out line-ending vowels.  It works really well, with only the small comments above.  I particularly like the use of rhyme.

In basic critique, I have to mention the somewhat random punctuation and capitalization.  This may seem pedantic, and in fact the way it's written now tends to enforce the langorous torch-song phrasing (take a breath when the line begins with a capital letter even if there was no period at the end of the previous line - which is stretched out when sung, at least as I hear it).  Same with missing period at the very end - a fade.  It just looks odd, though it's very intuitive; you might try it with more standard punctuation, using an em dash to indicate those held notes:

I stretched out to catch the last rays of today--
then you sailed away,
heading west without me.

for example, dash for sustain, comma for break (if that's how you want to phrase it).

The other thing, and I hope this is not too picky for basic, is the word "like" in the final line.  It's a simile, that is, an announced comparison:  these two things aren't actually the same, only like each other; the rest of the poem is all metaphors, I am the tree, you are my golden.  Now, a word there in the spot currently held by "like" is certainly required for rhythm, but could it be something else, that maintains the metaphor?

That's a lot for basic, but I like this very much.  If you meant it the way I'm reading it, a more descriptive title would also work... but I won't suggest one.   Thanks for posting!