02-06-2019, 10:37 PM
Our neighbors' windows frozen shut,
their boring groaning gone for now,
behind an icy shroud so devout
that god himself would have to bow.
You steal the blanket once again,
my elbows colder than goodbyes
bewailed on knees among amens,
your thoughtful prayers a warm disguise.
I shovel freshly fallen snow,
but you would never on Sunday-
the shine allowed to stay and glow
as neighbors judge our blocked driveway.
Your rhyme scheme is kind of simple, and I believe it can be improved by maybe using more complex, yet not forced rhymes. I like the poem, it's just rather simple, and if that's your style, go for it.
their boring groaning gone for now,
behind an icy shroud so devout
that god himself would have to bow.
You steal the blanket once again,
my elbows colder than goodbyes
bewailed on knees among amens,
your thoughtful prayers a warm disguise.
I shovel freshly fallen snow,
but you would never on Sunday-
the shine allowed to stay and glow
as neighbors judge our blocked driveway.
Your rhyme scheme is kind of simple, and I believe it can be improved by maybe using more complex, yet not forced rhymes. I like the poem, it's just rather simple, and if that's your style, go for it.