02-05-2019, 08:51 AM
Ghost Story
I have seen those who use passion
like a poltergeist shakes its chain.
I had to think a while about the chain. It's an interesting idea. I know ghosts and chains. But poltergeists and chains, that; well is that your point?
Their words fistless pounding,
impossible to ignore.
It almost blends into this statement. But still not yet.
Their actions composed of blood
that eventually disappears.
And this is the next vague moment.
Their motive a dead child
who wanders an empty hall
in search of heaven.
I have seen these phantoms
fade away in daylight,
only to haunt me again.
The point comes across. But your ghosts have connotations that aren't being considered. I mean your ghostly nouns. And the point is, somehow, not sharp.
I have seen those who use passion
like a poltergeist shakes its chain.
I had to think a while about the chain. It's an interesting idea. I know ghosts and chains. But poltergeists and chains, that; well is that your point?
Their words fistless pounding,
impossible to ignore.
It almost blends into this statement. But still not yet.
Their actions composed of blood
that eventually disappears.
And this is the next vague moment.
Their motive a dead child
who wanders an empty hall
in search of heaven.
I have seen these phantoms
fade away in daylight,
only to haunt me again.
The point comes across. But your ghosts have connotations that aren't being considered. I mean your ghostly nouns. And the point is, somehow, not sharp.