Winter Ode

[billy]

hi richard, good effort though the meter in places misses it's mark. beside that a couple of lines didn't work for me. [see below] a lighthearted piece that many have been through. in general the god [holy parts don't work well enough to keep as of yet. your use of alliteration works well when used. i've left some suggestion for you to leave, use or change. my real advice would be to shovel it onto their driveway

Winter Ode

Our neighbors' windows frozen shut,
their boring groaning gone for now,
behind an icy shroud so devout if you lose the [so] the meter will right itself as you have an extra half foot.
that god himself would have to bow. why would god have to bow? a suggestion would be [that God himself would raise a brow]

You steal the blanket once again,
my elbows colder than goodbyes
bewailed on knees among amens,
your thoughtful prayers a warm disguise.

I shovel freshly fallen snow,
but you would never on Sunday- to fit the meter here my suggestion would be [but "You" never would on Sunday]
the shine allowed to stay and glow this line feels a little force to meet the rhyme. is it sunshine? if so a suggestion would be [sunshine allowed to stay and glow]
as neighbors judge our blocked driveway.

I got in the mood to rhyme, so this is the result.