Converging to a singularity

[billy]

i'm reading

drawing the stillness
to close, like a curtain,
like ripples reflected
at the edge of a lake,
from stones dropped in water:

as one sentence and it's because of the comma after curtain. it should be a period as thats the end of the simile. a period will make the two similes distinct and separate.

Converging to a singularity


Edit 1

The red bus climbs 
uphill, and is gone –
drawing the stillness 
to close,  like a curtain,
like ripples reflected 
at the edge of a lake,
from stones dropped in water:
the wave that was coming
to the centre returning,
the sound of the engine
made silent again.

Original

The red bus climbs 
uphill, and is gone –
drawing the stillness 
to close,  like a curtain,
like ripples returning 
on a pool’s surface
from a stone dropped in water:
the wave that was coming
to the centre returning,
the sound of the engine
made silent again.