Edit 3: Beginners

[Keith]

Hi Alexorande
The childlike world we are dropped in works well and moves along with some excellent images the though that our early experiences are the truest, really appeals to me and I like how you lift the veil of innocense in the second stanza whilst maintaining the mythical world. a slight drift on the count in L5 but a solid poem that I was carried by and invested in.

Beginners

Our feet are clumsy, borne on glitter glue Born? strong opening I like the feel of child creativity
and sapped by views of vicious dragons made
from crayon wax, and we can't draw the blade
our feral god with strong conviction drew.
We flee and wander, lost and spellbound, through The count goes out here but solid images
the woods, disbanding slowly in the shade
of purple oaks and bushes. Though afraid,
this is adventure when it is most true. I stummbled here on the This is, just me maybe, wait for others

God hunches, groans, and there’s a golden veil
blown from our footprints, leading us to where
we learned to step as one and trust our eyes. I ejoyed this sequence a comming of age, no longer a beginner
We thwarted thieves, imbibed the finest ale
with gnomes and ghostly knights, and now we tear,
on crayon dragonback, beyond the skies. I like the expanse in the close almost like flying