Greg's grebe (v.g)

[Todd]

1st EDIT

Sexual conquests
was his subject
throughout high dosage –
 
miles-long displays of paper dolls,
arms and legs splayed invitingly,
bodies well detailed.
 
As medium ground approached,
the lines began to dwindle
and to dress
in bird-print robes,
 
and today
at just 5 milligrams,
Greg presents a grebe –
 
a little grebe,
sailing across a lake,
paddling smoothly
through the clouds.

I think the revision is a marked improvement.

I like the transition from sex, to bird-print robes, to grebe.

I don't see the reason for this line break on "dress" though. I'm not sure what's gained by it and why this shouldn't just be one line.

and to dress
in bird-print robes,

Beyond that, you strengthened many aspects of the poem.

Best,

Todd