Greg's grebe (v.g)

[Todd]

Hi Ally, welcome to the site! Let me give you a few comments to consider.

Interesting poem (and I don't mean that in the way you would describe a blind date as unique). You have a quirky narrative going.

Throughout high dosage,--This is a slightly flat opening line. I'd like it to pull me in more. Suggestion: If you restructured to bring in the important but less interesting dosage level on the second or third line, you could open with "His subject was sexual conquests" without a line break that unit is an interesting opening. It brings the reader in immediately.
his subject was--as you have it I'm not a fan of line breaks on weak helping verbs.
sexual conquests –
 
miles-long displays of paper dolls,--great image
explicitly coloured,
arms joined.--what open playing this up more (you could bend and position them in provocative positions). It feels like your missing a slight opportunity. Paper dolls might be explicitly colored but it seems more natural to adjust their postures.
 
But as medium ground approached,
the lines began to dwindle--something more here. Perhaps some observation at the medium dosage between sex and duck.
 
and today,
at just 5 milligrams,
he presents a grebe –
 
a single little grebe,--don't know if you need single
making its way--is there a better word than "making" it feels like paddling smoothly below does the job of this line. Perhaps some other slight observation here.
across a lake,
paddling smoothly
through the clouds.--love the drug-induced magical realism of the last two lines.

You have some good things going on here. I hope some of the comments helped.

Best,

Todd