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Stranded
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10-28-2018, 01:32 PM
Hello fae - I’ve read this poem a few times - it’s good! You have a clever little metaphor in S2. I am not troubled by the unconnected metaphors of the sweater and the car: I think it works fine. I also like the loose rhyming of “gear / tears”.
I think you can lose all of S1 after “perplexed” - and jump straight to S2. |
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| Messages In This Thread |
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RE: Stranded - by Todd - 08-15-2018, 11:53 PM
RE: Stranded - by Fae - 08-16-2018, 01:00 AM
RE: Stranded - by Tiger the Lion - 08-16-2018, 05:34 AM
RE: Stranded - by rowens - 08-16-2018, 08:30 AM
RE: Stranded - by billy - 09-24-2018, 09:50 AM
RE: Stranded - by PenPCB - 10-17-2018, 07:23 AM
RE: Stranded - by Ally - 10-23-2018, 03:05 AM
RE: Stranded - by busker - 10-28-2018, 01:32 PM
RE: Stranded - by poemblind - 11-30-2018, 08:45 PM
RE: Stranded - by Xlateralus - 12-15-2018, 02:02 PM
RE: Stranded - by ginaparaoan - 03-04-2019, 10:58 AM
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