10-27-2018, 09:19 PM
Hi Richard,
I'm broadly in agreement with billy,
though, for me 'backsides' confuses the
issue. Can't see how they relate to steps.
Just a suggestion:
Even grey fades, [but remains]
solid still, who'll curse the ice? - don't get this at all
Unnoticed, cracks
worsen with every step. - maybe find an alternative to 'step' given the title?
No one listens to that
language of chipped surfaces;
deterioration
too easily left behind.
Best, Knot.
I'm broadly in agreement with billy,
though, for me 'backsides' confuses the
issue. Can't see how they relate to steps.
Just a suggestion:
Even grey fades, [but remains]
solid still, who'll curse the ice? - don't get this at all
Unnoticed, cracks
worsen with every step. - maybe find an alternative to 'step' given the title?
No one listens to that
language of chipped surfaces;
deterioration
too easily left behind.
Best, Knot.