Gone (Revision)

[Todd]

Hi Knot,

Thank you for the comments.

Hi Todd,

simple, yet effectively chilling.
For me it's a bit overwritten (and perhaps
the title gives away too much).
Just a cut and paste suggestion:

After Curfew (or something similar)--I'll give some thought to the title. If I make the change it will likely be after I work thought the body of the poem. So, something to consider at the end.

You pull back the curtain
peer between streetlights,
listen to the hungry night,
then turn to your husband
push[ing] food around [his] plate,
waiting, for ...--This just tells me I need to work on the pronouns a bit more.

No words exist
to make her reappear.
- (don't know that you needs the italicised part)--noted.

She leaves home so often
you stop noticing. Until the day,
she doesn’t come back.
- seems wrong to have the knockout blow at the beginning  --fair I'll consider the rearrangement.


Best, Knot.

Thank you, Knot.

Best,

Todd