10-24-2018, 11:39 AM
(10-24-2018, 12:04 AM)rowens Wrote: It seemed natural when I wrote it, but as I was typing it up I stopped on that line too. I considered taking the first 'to' out, but that didn't feel right. The first 'to' reminds me of an old song that I can't remember, Where did you run to, or something like that. As for adding the comma, do you think it would slow the sentence? I don't want a pause. . . . Does it trip you up each time you read the line?after i read it a couple of times i understood it and it was no longer a problem, that said many readers don't do a double/third retake. also the writer is always in charge, so it'll always be up to you as to how you use feedback .