Stranded

[Ally]

Hi Fae,

I'm Ally; I just joined yesterday. I hope you don't mind receiving my first comment on a poem :-)

I often feel perplexed, so I was immediately pulled in to this poem. I find your first stanza very appealing; I'm drawn to keep reading because I want to know more about the narrator's struggle. I get this in S2, and I like the 'pretty sweater'. Together with the 'strands' of S1, this makes me think of knitting. I like the connection of strands and words, and I anticipate that the metaphor will continue into S3. So when the car turns up, it's a bit of a surprise. That isn't to suggest that the 'missing wheels' isn't effective; I was just really enjoying the sweater metaphor.

I'm interested in 'cold' too, by the way. I start thinking about what words might induce the cold and what colour threads would be particularly good to ward it off. Reds, oranges, yellows, maybe?

Anyway, I don't know how helpful this'll be for you, but I wish you well with any revisions you choose to make :-)

Best wishes,
Ally