After dinner naps

[Keith]

I enjoyed this one Billy, mostly because you dont take the dewy eyed view of the yuck that the little ones bring. also the imagery you extend to the reader is gross and easy to conect with. Some thoughts below. Best Keith

After Dinner Naps

I could smell cabbage on her breath. solid intro, I want to know more
A few large particles of it were glued on her pristine white peggies; peggies is the link here it puts the reader wher he needs to be, consider changing particals its a bit of a mouthful (no pun intended)
three of them like miniature marble tombstones spattered do you need marble? we can see our own tombstone
with lichen, moss and slime.

A hefty burp exploded,
reinforcing the image of a small Shrek at a dinner table. the use of like is well avoided here
Neon green sticky vomit projectiled over a toothy grin,
a satisfied toothy grin.
she/it put chubby inflated fingers to her mouth then played
patticake on my face. love these lines, totaly gross

My shirt cried a little as my bellybutton inhaled the moisture. solid line really like the shirt crying et al
I wretched a little as the bubble blowing  face
flopped onto my mouth
like  she were trying to resuscitate me I can see every detail of this, nicely done
with the gurgle of a slit throat.
Gooey fists slapped my ears,
wiped themselves in my well groomed hair. this reinforces the level of the assault with the use of well groomed, neatly done

After a few splutters she rested,
her head lifeless on my shoulder,
seemingly devoid of neck bones or cartilage.
A wisp of breath brushed my ear delightfuly in its imagery
as a silent trump rustled her diaper. boom boom
I joined her soft snoozes with my own;
two happy dozing monsters. Nice link back to shrek, all works well for me.