Golden City (edit 2.)

[Keith]

Hi Nozaki
I really enjoyed your poem and the concept of when a relationship breaks down it feels like a gamble to let it go. Some thoughts below. Best Keith

cuts, scabbing into lines of poetry: the violence films As with others comments you could start with 'the violence films my lips' and you would have my attention
my lips as I search for the words to rip nice sonic that spits anger
the creativity out of you. it would be art only would only be art, is smoother
if I stepped back, but for what would you flourish? comma after what maybe
bruises open like wine on your cheeks. nice image
so loving you is so much harder than knowing 
that I just do. already angry that we've outgrown nice progression to reason
each other, I call only to hear you care
enough to ask why. this, not sure you need 'this' here as well as below

this 
lack of sense, 
is an example of gambling done wrong. leanne said cut example i would agree
it's a hazard, the hearts-
the lives, the chips- 
when we run out, 
all we can do
is bet on
more. solid ending belief in the N conviction