Silence

[Knot]

Hi River,
like the others I'm a bit lost, but not
unhappily so. The tone, some strong
lines and images make for a sufficiently
enjoyable/intriguing read ... but that
'shirt' seems particularly problemetic.

I think L9 should be 'one drop' (for emphasis),
though I admit it might require reworking
some of the earlier lines. With that in mind
just for consideration, rather than as a
suggestion (but with no attempt made
to match your meter).

To be a righteous man
take Abraham's knife and strip
away the gloves that mask your traces,
the cloth that hides your shame,

those breasts that feed, thy tongue
which tastes and, with its every word
of praise or satisfaction soured, breaks
the silence that is blamelessness -

but know this, all is forefeit
should one drop of Christian blood be spilled.


Best, Knot.