First Edit: Remoteness/September Snow

[Knot]

Hi Richard,
very taken by the opening lines of S2, excellent work!

I agree with Todd and Keith about the opening line
(like Keith, I think it works better as a title - if so
then you migh consider cutting 'of autumn' as it
would be easily inferred)

S2- maybe put some more thought into
the enjambments. The final three lines
seem comparatively weak.

Best, Knot.