10-02-2018, 03:16 PM
hi river, i read it and thought it well laid out, the problem i have is it confuses me. in reading the peace it all seems good yet when i stand back it's as though contradiction is rife within. many good images for a short poem yet it leaves me feeling like I've missed something. i'm not capable of giving more feedback so i'll leave it there.
(10-01-2018, 04:19 PM)RiverNotch Wrote: Silence
To be righteous, one must take i like the enjambment.
Abraham's ritual knife and strip
away the gloves that mask one's trace,
the shirt that mocks at innocence,
the breasts that feed, the tongue that tastes
and, with its every word of praise
or soured satisfaction, breaks
the silence that is righteousness --
but all is forfeit should a drop
of Christian blood be spilled.