Silence

[dukealien]

Silence


To be righteous, one must take
Abraham's ritual knife and strip
away the gloves that mask one's trace, this is a very good, complex line... I see fingerprints, but could be DNA traces
the shirt that mocks at innocence,

the breasts that feed, the tongue that tastes
and, with its every word of praise another notable complexity - two functions of the tongue
or soured satisfaction, breaks could be a minor problem with pronunciation of "soured" as one beat or two... with two beats the line's meter is simple, with one it's dynamic "OR SOURED SATisFACtion BREAKS"  with three leading stresses.  I pronounce it with two, being a native Midwesterner, but like it better with one.
the silence that is righteousness --

but all is forfeit should a drop
of Christian blood be spilled.  A very nice turn since the reader has been, up to now, picturing the process of stripping away (even the breasts) as a virtual or theoretical exercise.

This is powerful, but I must confess to missing its point.  That being so, moderate critique addressing craft only (above).

Suggestions... not many.  "[A]t" on L4 could be replaced by something stronger and more specific - it almost (but not quite) seems present only for meter.

"[O]f Christian blood be spilled" makes a (to me) confusing reference to "The Merchant of Venice."  That anti-semitic law tries to connect with the story of Abraham, but I end up only with loose ends.

On the whole, I get an against-sensuality vibe (St. Paul's "keep the body down") but can't connect it with the coda.

So, a hint, a clue would be appreciated.  Not that the mystery isn't - it's very well done.  Silence identified as righteousness... sorry,  still missing it.