First Edit: Remoteness/September Snow

[Richard]

September Snow

A hood hides your face
like clouds cover stars
as an early winter prepares
to bury dead leaves.

North is not a place
for love poems.
Hearts freeze here,
even when insulated by layers
only you have the patience
to remove and neatly fold.
Lips crack, with or without
the pressure of kissing,
my mittened hands
still cold.

Original:

Remoteness

Snow in September,
a hood hides your face
like clouds cover stars,
while a storm prepares
to bury the dead colours
of autumn.

North is not a place
for love poems.
Hearts freeze there,
even when insulated by layers
only you have the patience
to remove and neatly fold,
lips crack, with or without
the pressure of kissing,
my mittened hands lonely.