8-21-18

[ellajam]

tardy august rain
falls, and falls over itself
to apologize

An interesting set of words.  

A few things to think about re falls and tardy:

tardy august rain
falls over itself
to apologize
(I think we still get the double falls)

tardy august rain falls
over itself
to apologize
(I sort of like getting the double meaning of "over itself" by isolating it)

tardy august rain
falls (comma or mdash) falls over itself
to apologize

tardy august rain falls (mdash?)
falls over itself
to apologize

I'm sure you've considered late vs tardy and chosen the concrete but I enjoy the multible edge of late, late in the day,  late in the month, late after a drought, too late.

I'm not really suggesting change, just babbling. Good morning.