08-12-2018, 07:01 AM
Very atmospheric... which is easy to say, but this is really, REALLY atmospheric.
Enjoyed it, think I get the message... wall artist, sort of mixing his world with his art while vice versa.
Two comments: first, "lantern... even the witches are rusted" -- I read that as "witches" without noticing "lantern" the first and second times, but after noticing, can't help reading it as "switches" on an electric lantern. Not sure how that's supposed to work. Since it leads into the ancestors as stars, I doubt "witches" is a typo.
The other comment is about point of view. It seems the protagonist/narrator is also able to see how he appears to others (eyes looking dangerous, etc.). That's a rare gift (see oursel's as ithers see us) but can also be taken as the external narrator, who sees and appreciates the dangerous eyes, building the character in *his* mind but telling it in first person from the imagined protagonist behind those eyes.
Probably over-thinking, there. Good ride, good read.
Enjoyed it, think I get the message... wall artist, sort of mixing his world with his art while vice versa.
Two comments: first, "lantern... even the witches are rusted" -- I read that as "witches" without noticing "lantern" the first and second times, but after noticing, can't help reading it as "switches" on an electric lantern. Not sure how that's supposed to work. Since it leads into the ancestors as stars, I doubt "witches" is a typo.
The other comment is about point of view. It seems the protagonist/narrator is also able to see how he appears to others (eyes looking dangerous, etc.). That's a rare gift (see oursel's as ithers see us) but can also be taken as the external narrator, who sees and appreciates the dangerous eyes, building the character in *his* mind but telling it in first person from the imagined protagonist behind those eyes.
Probably over-thinking, there. Good ride, good read.
Non-practicing atheist