08-10-2018, 12:27 AM
Hey River,
Sorry it's been a while. In my experience, baring abstract thoughts in lieu of imagery or a mix of both can typically make for a wordy poem. If this is what you intend, then I do think that edge of ridiculousness that you're going for could be perfect here, but I think that then it would be in need of a hint of awareness or awareness of unawareness (if that makes sense). Hope you continue on this piece!
Alex
Sorry it's been a while. In my experience, baring abstract thoughts in lieu of imagery or a mix of both can typically make for a wordy poem. If this is what you intend, then I do think that edge of ridiculousness that you're going for could be perfect here, but I think that then it would be in need of a hint of awareness or awareness of unawareness (if that makes sense). Hope you continue on this piece!
Alex