Florida Girl (Edit 1)

[Richard]

Hey Elizazile,
I like some of the imagery in this piece. My biggest suggestion would to be more economical with your language in spots. I'll go into more detail below:

Unchanging as our seasons
Florida girl you never thought you'd be -I feel like this line would make a stronger title. You could even play around with the first line connecting to this title. That would mean rearranging this first stanza a bit, but it would be worth it. Your current title isn't terrible, but it just feels like it's missing something to me. 
our most ardent defender
nor unwilling hostage
but here you are.

Clinging to steamy sidewalks,
radiating through the soles of your vans -This is one of the images that I quite like. It's the type of line that made me stop and reread it over and over in a good way.
("my body wasn't made for this!"). -I suggest writing the lines like this in italics. That would create the desired effect.

Warm seeps in
through the wooden skeleton
of your mostly concrete home;
Concrete and wood,
the anthem of here.
Concrete plazas,
somehow glowing in the sunset,
crumbling wooden docks -My main concern here is the repetition of the words "wood/wooden" and "concrete". I don't feel like they're important enough to warrant the emphasis from the repetition, so I would suggest rewording or omitting some of them. 
perched at water's edges, resting sleepy and uneasy
to be scrapped away next hurricane season-
or perhaps stand strong-
Walked on by all manner of gulls,
pelicans, egrets and spoonbills
in the meantime.

Unchanging, you are
as the Florida Fall:
putting forth the effort fall here requires
in spirit, in cider and cinnamon sticks,
avocado vomit from a jack-o-lantern mouth -This is my favorite line in the whole poem. It's a vivid image that works with what you're saying here.
your friend dressed up as her 'ideal self'
your ex and me in the same pumpkin shirt
(whoops).
Florida's Fall
has little to do with Florida at all
And you pull it in close like a hug. -This is the strongest stanza in the entire piece. I love the imagery here. My only suggestion might be to think about starting the poem with this because it's so strong.

Unchanging as the spring and summer showers. -The word "unchanging" is important to what you're saying in this piece, so the repetition is warranted. I just wonder if you could play around with using a different word? Just a thought.
Some torrential,
everything but two feet ahead
obscured for now,
mud puddles danced in by rain
splatter themselves on the wet engine-heat
of cars who've learned to drive straight through this
half-blind.
Or the kind without a cloud in sight,
sprinkles from nowhere,
God flicking her wet hands from above;
Where do these happy tears come from? -I'm unsure about the "happy tears". It's an image you might consider expanding on.

And where do you come from
Florida girl -I'm not sure if it's correct grammar, but I feel like you should end this line with a question mark. Maybe a comma? 
Unchanging as those few weeks
of still, wet, winter air
biting down in spite of a sky that smiles blue,
happy to host this traffick -traffic
of touristing bluebirds, -I like how you play with the word "tourist" as an adjective. Personally, I feel like you could expand on the birds here. It feels like a potent image you could get more out of. I hope that makes sense.
cardinals, woodpeckers and northern pintails.

Cupping in your hands a life -I find the start of the last stanza a bit unclear. Is the "life" here one of the birds or the rain water? If it's the water, then this stanza should follow that one.
that pools up, is full, spills out again,
ever unchanging in the staleness and the newness
it brings to you and lets seep away.
My favorite in all this
is when you take one of those Florida hands
let it drip dry
and reach out to hold mine. -I like the last four lines. They make me wonder who the speaker could be.

I think you have a good start here, and I look forward to seeing where you take this piece from here.

Thanks for the read,
Richard