Second Edit: To Emerging Poets

[Knot]

Hi Richard.
Much improved, I think.
You might consider tightening
(a little) further, for instance:

To Emerging Poets

This is your place: blackout
drunk, mouth dry of metaphor,
eyes bloodshot and sensitive.

This is your place: buried
beneath words.
- think this needs more work.
Not sure that 'lilies' adds much.

This is your place: hidden
in the coat check, wine [bottled]
anesthetic against applause.

This is your place: hungover,
hands trembling, a cheap pen,
steady only [when] writing.

Best, Knot.