07-06-2018, 12:48 AM
ah, i have edited...
@rowan astute observations, it's appreciated. it's difficult, as you say, to try and create energy in a piece that is for all intents and purposes, descriptive, but i will try
@acappella thank you for alerting me to the adjectives, i really got carried away. as for the character focus, i think i have balanced it a bit better but who knows?
@homer rather than contradictions i was going for an overall atmosphere of imbalance, but i must've struck wrong. and you are indeed right about the self indulgence- this entire piece began as an exercise in fanciful imagination, for better or for worse. as for impressions, i would like to think that i write for no one in particular (but maybe myself) and for no particular reason.
@rowan astute observations, it's appreciated. it's difficult, as you say, to try and create energy in a piece that is for all intents and purposes, descriptive, but i will try
@acappella thank you for alerting me to the adjectives, i really got carried away. as for the character focus, i think i have balanced it a bit better but who knows?
@homer rather than contradictions i was going for an overall atmosphere of imbalance, but i must've struck wrong. and you are indeed right about the self indulgence- this entire piece began as an exercise in fanciful imagination, for better or for worse. as for impressions, i would like to think that i write for no one in particular (but maybe myself) and for no particular reason.
to flourish is to fall, dust before the windÂ