07-02-2018, 02:10 AM
Some balance between drunken exuberance and somber dryness; you have the dryness, but's all a little underwhelming. Dryness, drabness, and yet the sun. That seems to me what you're getting at. But maybe I'm insisting too much on the sun. My own experience and ideas of drab brightness.
You can accept a poem as it is, and criticize it. These works in progress always seem alien to me. Or I want them to. I want the poet to come up with something that I wouldn't.
You can accept a poem as it is, and criticize it. These works in progress always seem alien to me. Or I want them to. I want the poet to come up with something that I wouldn't.